Ambivalence, Chinese New Year and my new Job

Well, that about says it all today for me on this planet earth, new Chinese year that it is. Year of the Ox, or so I've been told. I'm a Boar, or so I've been told by many who know me well. But I don't follow that sort of thing, perhaps for obvious reasons. My self esteem can only handle so much abuse - between being catalogued as either a crab or a boar, or if you follow both systems, a crab AND a boar, what else is left to me but to turn my back on the whole thing and look elsewhere for my identity.

Well, that isn't the ONLY reason I became a Christian. In fact, it really wasn't the reason at all. Not that that's what I'm blogging about here. Just an aside.

Actually, I'm not really sure what I want to write about, hence the title. I was hoping to entertain the few who follow my ramblings with some amusing chatter about this and that. I've just started a new job - cool, eh? In these bleak economic times, a job is nothing to sniff at. However, I've been so used to minding my own business, being retired / unemployed / self-employed, that minding someone else's might prove challenging.

Still, I'm thrilled that I can contribute to an organization whose focus is on sustainable housing. It is interesting that, after I lost my last "job" (or rather had it whipped unceremoniously out from under me by my boss - some how "lost" is too tepid a way to describe the event) two years ago, my oldest child ordered me to create a Personal Mission Statement, in no uncertain terms.

It took me about six months to do so, and, although I've stored the working copies in an all-too-safe location, I do remember the gist of it - to contribute my skills and experience to an organization committed to improving the environment. For a year I searched for just such a job, volunteering for several local "green" groups to build some credibility in the community and involving myself with vermicomposting as a local representative for The Worm Factory.

The result of all this activity was the discovery that what I really wanted to do was write! So, I am busily pursuing a career as a freelance writer with the support of a small business course and grant from our wonderful provincial government. However, daughter number two sat me down and, as gently as possible, informed me that freelance writing would likely NOT generate enough cash to support a goldfish. She spoke from the experience of freelance writer friends who regularly contributed to such bastions of North American jornalism as The New York Times.

As expert as I am at denial, even I could not avoid an impending sense of insolvancy. So, when one of the many organizations I had applied to before I knew I wanted to write, invited me to apply for a job, I did so. Lo and behold, they actually offered me the job! It is half time, so will fit marvelously well into my scheme to be a writer! Or so I imagine.

I will have to exercise my emerging boundary setting skills to make sure it doesn't become a 3/4 or full time job due to the organization's need and my commitment to their objectives.

Since I am at heart a snappish, lazy, cowardly slob (see first paragraph above), this will prove a challenge.

Obama

For the first time in my life I feel proud of America. I am a dual citizen of Canada and the USA. I voted for Obama. I feel deeply moved by the ascension of this man to the highest position in the world. Four years ago, a story about a man named Barack Husein Obama becoming the president of the United States of America, would have been published in a science fiction magazine not the world press.

Today, I see a joyful man stepping into a wasps' nest of trouble, rolling up his sleeves and beckoning the rest of us to come and give him a hand, promising hard times, hard work and hard-earned self respect. The funny thing is, thousands, no millions, are lining up to join him!

Today, I see a nation, roused from it's slumber of cynicism and fear, energized with a new belief in the ability to impact and change things for the better.

Today, I see a world, watching and hopeful, waiting to see if this man really will restore America's reputation on the international stage, really will lead America to be a force for good in the earth.

Today, I see myself, overcome with emotion and something strange to me - hope and optimism. Not a foolish hope either, not an "oh, I really hope so" sort of hope that really is closer to despair and last ditch efforts than it is to true hopefulness. Oddly, this newcomer to my heart is neither blindly trusting nor worshipful of the man in front. It simply believes that he can do the job. Maybe not perfectly, but with humility and grace and the ability to engage the help of others.

Early on in the race to the presidency, I chose to support Obama, not because he was a black man, nor later because he was a Democrat, but because I saw in him, during the debates, a man full of grace for his opponents who refused to respond in kind to personal attacks, who stood firmly on his convictions, who relied on the support of "everyman", who entrusted his campaign to the "little people" - the local workers.

Character is exposed in times of stress, and Obama's character held up throughout. We all know to play our best card in public, but to do so under attack is impossible without slip ups revealing our darker sides. Obama passed muster - he did not falter, his character came through loudly, clearly and consistently. This is why, I have confidence in him.

So, Obama, I trust you to get the job done, and I will be praying for you, your family and your administration. Hail to the Chief!

Twitter and Photos

Seems I am snowballing into communicating via the internet as I have just finished signing up for Twitter and have posted photos from my new digital camera.

Twitter is an instant internet chat option where you constantly update what you are doing so any "followers" you might have can instantly know all about you. Likewise, you can instantly know about them by "following" them, should you wish. Smacks of information overload to me, but then my brain is on the down side of the bell curve for capacity and speed. Still, I'm a sucker for saying yes when invited and curiosity often gets the best of me. Apparently, you can gain quite a following for whatever you want to promote, whether it is yourself, or some service, product or idea. As I am planning to make a living out of my writing, this could be good avenue for promotions - though I'm not sure how as yet.

Re: the photos - daughter number two gifted me with a digital camera which I am tentatively exploring, rather like I did my first child when she was a newborn. I remember bringing her home from the hospital (home births were not yet de rigeuer in the birthing world) in the dead of winter. Her father and I set her down carefully on the kitchen table - an alert little face watched us out of a seriously padded winter bunting bag. We looked at each other with an excitement made up of equal parts trepidation and anticipation. I think it didn't dawn on us until that moment the enormity of what we had done together by bringing a new little person into the world, or the impact she would have on our lives.

As I said, owning this digital camera feels a little bit the same. I am cautious - a little afraid that I might somehow break it, intimidated by its potential and aware of my complete lack of knowledge. New technologies, new gadgets, new machines all create stress for me - a good stress no doubt as they cause me to grow - but I find I have to gird my loins so to speak to plunge in and explore. Also, I realize I do not like reading the instructions and use them only to figure out how to turn it on, and what the buttons do. Then I play with the thing until I hit a brick wall, at which point I resort to checking the instructions.

So, today I played with my camera, taking photos of a squirrel maurading the bird feeder. I think of the bit I just heard on the radio about chic restaurants serving squirrel as the new fashion meat and wonder if I could maybe make a bit of extra cash off of the now very plump on bird seed rodents I see through the view finder: